Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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