Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
