I feel like abortions should bother me more
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
