i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
