Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize