THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
only you would photoshop your dick
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
