and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize