Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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