my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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