there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
