She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
