Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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