well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
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I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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