I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize