And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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