PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Shitshow foam night was such a success
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
