I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
