I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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