you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
