I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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