So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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