Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
