So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
