dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
