As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
