I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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