Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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