she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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