If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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