erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
