I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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