in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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