Your dad touched me again.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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