The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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