How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
