i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
