tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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