i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
