Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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