I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
