Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
