Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
not ubering you a puppy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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