I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He felt like a one man threesome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
