oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
