Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
