Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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