You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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