Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize