I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
