dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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