did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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