How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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