apparently the secret to your success is patron
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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