Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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