Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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