I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Randomize
