Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
