You work out of a Hotel?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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