Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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