another moral hangover. fuck.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
