During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
