At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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