He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
tell your sister to shave her snatch
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
