there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
